Jesus is wrecking things

Aaron and Bobbie gave me the third book in NT Wright's series on Christian origins and the Question of God called 'Jesus and the victory of God'. It's a serious threat to many of my cherished notions about Jesus, the church, Israel and my faith. So serious that I find it hard to stomach some of the things I hear coming out of the mouths of Christian leaders and teachers right now. So serious that I find it hard to stomach what's coming out of my own brain and heart right now. So serious that I wonder if I took a wrong turn somewhere because what I do is so pretend. I suppose that's the usual over-reaction and that I will settle back into a more balanced viewpoint soon.

There is something I really like about learning that what I believe is mostly made up by the church and not something Jesus meant at all. Or that my carefully thought out theology on an issue forgot to include Israel and what Jesus really was saying to them. Or that a concept like 'the kingdom of God' means something quite different to me than it did to Jesus. There is something raw about the facts, something that just blows to pieces all the smokescreens of false notions and reveals that you're not anywhere as smart as you think you are.



I like it

Do I care?

What's it mean when you're going through life and stuff happens and you don't really feel like you care? It's not that I feel it's all meaningless it's just that I look at the issues that crop up day to day and feel like most aren't worth caring about. They're just too small somehow, too irrelevant.

I don't really care if I meet people's expectations. I don't really care if we have a healing room next year or not. I don't care if the Elijah breaker anointing is calling for a national consecration fast and that we all better get ready because something is about to happen in the heavenlies (that's an amalgam of various strident voices at present). I don't care if there is a new anti-oxidant chocolate bar that will clean up my arteries. I don't care if people don't understand why Terry and I make certain decisions that they don't agree with.

Maybe I am tired of caring. Maybe the Lord is showing me I care about the wrong things. Maybe I'm a fool. We shall see.

But for now, I don't really care.